Dr. John Ryan often starts off our NLP training talking about the two big problems we tend to face as human beings.
1. Finding our purpose
2. Fulfilling that purpose.
From a Huna perspective that is also true and inside the pillars of resilience I created about 4 years ago, that theme also runs true. In fact, if you look at any of the ancient wisdom traditions they tend to emphasize the importance of knowing who you are or uncovering your dharma as a key aspect of moving down a path toward enlightenment.
In our western culture, we tend to get it kind of out of order. When we are in college we think, what should I do? We tend to pick a path based on what our parents or society tells us is “responsible” because ultimately it is about being able to support ourselves and make money. We go after having things.
Get the degree, the job, the house, the money, the cars, the spouse etc.
There is nothing wrong with having things at all. It is just that often from that approach, we are left feeling a little empty and asking ourselves why we aren’t fulfilled or happy even though we have “everything.”
We feel guilty and think, there has to be more to life than this. I should be doing something else. Then maybe we change jobs, careers, spouses, locations, any number of things to figure out what may be lacking.
The truth is that nothing is lacking. We have simple either lost our way and our sense of identity or we just didn’t have that to begin with.
I struggled with this for what seemed to be like forever. I thought I was following my passion in becoming a performer rather than the doctor my family wanted me to be but then when my life got turned upside down after my divorce I realized that my identity had been wrapped up in what I was doing for a living and in being a wife.
So, without those things, who was I?
The same thing happened when my father passed away. Despite the fact that I was finally doing what I loved in a field that truly does feel like my calling, when he passed away, my identity came into question because I didn’t realize just how much of who I identified with was wrapped up in him.
It was his passing that put me on the path of really getting a sense of who I am. I am not my what I do for a living or even who I am to the people in my life. Who I am runs a great deal deeper than that and it is a great deal bigger than that.
When I got clear on that, everything I was doing started to flow with so much more ease. I could simply be me on stage when I teach. I could be me with my clients. I could be me in my interactions with my friends and family.
No apologies, no shame, and nothing that is wrapped up in anyone or anything else but me.
When you know who you are. I mean really know who you are everything else makes sense and you not only get clear on what it is you really want to do, but you also get the value of nurturing yourself. You realize that you are not just a physical body. You have an emotional body that needs care, a mental body that needs stimulation, and a spiritually body that has been waiting for you to connect.
When you are in the space of your beingness, all that you desire and deserve flows to you with little effort.
This doesn’t mean you sit back and do nothing. It means what you do feels right. It feels like home. It feels like you are pono or totally congruent in your own skin.
It is an ever evolving process and it takes a lot of inner exploration but man is it worth it when you start to see and stand in your own light.
And remember that “no matter who you think you are, you are so much more than that” -Matthew B James.
So, who are you really? It starts with a question and a willingness to start hearing the answer because the only place it comes from is your own heart.
It is a quiet whisper so listen well.
From my loving heart to yours.