Father’s Day was about a week ago and I was so fortunate to spend it with my brother and his family. My brother has always been a source of strength, stability, and in many ways a father figure to me in his own right. Given that we lost our dad last year, we were both happy to be able to celebrate him together while my brother also got to have his beautiful kids and amazing wife there as well.
As he and I were driving back from our camping trip, we started to talk about family. Ours is a small one these days and as much as we both love each and every member with our whole hearts, we acknowledge that at times, we can be a bit disjointed and inconsistent. So it got us thinking about what family really is.
I loved this conversation because it pertains to the Resilience work I do so much. A truly integral part of cultivating resilience is connection and community and for many people, that doesn’t quite exist in their given family.
I am of the school that believes that we pick our family for a very specific purpose before we come to this planet. I believe that they each have tremendous lessons to teach us whether our relationships with them are easy and functional or challenging.
Those are the folks we chose before we got here but there are also people we consciously select to be our family. People we often refer to as our community or our tribe. These people are made up of our friends, our lovers, and a network of support.
I define family as people who are there to provide us and receive from us unconditional love, support, and reflection. They are there to hold us up when we can’t stand on our own, but also to be a ruthless reflection back to us and call us on our shit when we are not vibrating at our highest and not being our true selves.
They are there to hold space for us to be human, to cry, to grieve, and also there to share in and celebrate with us in our triumphs and successes. They are there to teach us and learn from us. That is how I define family. I am incredibly blessed to have a pretty big one and I give thanks for both my given and consciously selected family every day.
So dear one, I am just curious, how do you define family?
How has the family you were born into shaped who you are?
How has your consciously chosen family done the same?
Leave a comment here so we can all benefit from each other’s insights.
From my loving heart to your…